Of Suspicious Janitors and Berry Cakes Pt. 2

Weo was not satisfied. He didn’t like the fact that they lost every single bucketball game. It just wasn’t fair. Times like these made him think of whacking someone. Instead he made a huge time machine and tied everyone up, and threw them in. Including the guys who beat them. Man he was mad. Really mad…

Unbeknownst to the bunch of retards, Fresh Haddock had his own evil plot in mind. He didn’t take them out because they needed a break, he took them out because he wanted to embarrass them in front of billions and billions of people by signing them up for an evil sport called… [insert scary music here] BUCKETBALL! Yes… bucketball was an evil sport of… great evil, because it would embarrass the heroes until they were so embarrassed that they would cry or something. Upon realizing this, Peo and Weo warned everyone and they began jumping on their beds. Tomorrow was the big game…

“Deja Vou” said Peo. Everyone looked at him.

“What?”

“Deja Vou” said Peo. Everyone looked at him.

“What?”

“Deja Vou” said Peo. Everyone looked at him.

“What?”

“Deja Vou” said Peo. Everyone looked at him.

“What?”

“Deja Vou” said Peo. Everyone looked at him.

“What?”

“SHUT UP!” Peo whacked everyone. Hard. Oh he enjoyed it so much…
They still lost every game of bucketball… but that night, Phatty was feeling particularly good. Yup. But no one cares…
Mikee… nevermind.
Peo and Reez decided it was funny to wear masks and rob innocent little girls of their… ‘chocolate’. Oh yes… the chocolate bandits were feared all over the world… or at least on the 22nd floor… in one of those rooms…
Meanwhile, Weo was wallowing in self-pity, pondering the very meaning of his existence, his life that is the meaningless void… but no one cares. And alone he slept, and he wept, as he crept, in his depth, to accept, his inept, but except, he cant figure out why his mind is thinking in rhymes. He’s alone. Oh well, he’ll get used to it.
Meanwhile, everyone else, was busy doing their own thing, like shopping or sleeping or something. But, no one cares. Do you? Don’t answer that. Go away. More Tomorrow.

Hah. I kid you.

The END.

Or is it…

…


…


…


No it not so.

Of Suspicious Janitors and Berry Cakes

Okay, so here's a tale to sing in the ole taverns me friends. So grab a pint and gather round, sit your tiny bottoms down.


Once upon a time, there were two boys called Peo and Weo. Their mothers were gonna call them Leo and Neo but they were high at the time so they decided it would be funny to mess up their sons’ lives forever by giving them really really really embarrassing names. Hence, Peo and Weo. Peo and Weo eventually became good friends, upon discovering each other’s intellect and obsession with… uh… let’s just call it ‘cucumber’. One day a man named Fresh Haddock took a bunch of retards for a school trip to a place of great… not-so-greatness. Everyone was shocked because… well… they were retarded. Except for Peo and Weo. They were EXTREMELY retarded.

Unbeknownst to the bunch of retards, Fresh Haddock had his own evil plot in mind. He didn’t take them out because they needed a break, he took them out because he wanted to embarrass them in front of billions and billions of people by signing them up for an evil sport called… [insert scary music here] BUCKETBALL! Yes… bucketball was an evil sport of… great evil, because it would embarrass the heroes until they were so embarrassed that they would cry or something. Upon realizing this, Peo and Weo warned everyone and they began jumping on their beds. Tomorrow was the big game…

They lost. Oh well. No one cried. Fresh Haddock was slightly disappointed but was glad now that he realized he was technically their team coach. Technically.

Then of course there was the matter of swimming. Yes, it was up to the brave Peo to save the team from further embarrassment by swimming really really fast. Though he knew he wouldn’t win against these guys. They were swimmers, unlike Peo, whose only swimming ‘training’ was his annual shower… 3 months ago. Peo desperately swam like a sperm cell that knew there was no egg tomorrow. And won back a bronze medal. Weo was shocked. So he smo- I mean ate some cucumbers. Yeah, he ate some cucumbers. Peo shot himself. Then he got stepped on by fellow retard Reez. That sucked. He woke up.

Part 2 coming tomorrow…
Stay tuned
--- Chr- uh… lets just say I’m Peo.

Matthew 6:33

BUT SEEK FIRST HIS KINGDOM AND HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS, AND ALL THESE THINGS WILL BE GIVEN TO YOU AS WELL.


its a damn powerful verse and it speaks much of people's lives theses days, or at least mine anyway, always eagerly asking God for this and that, just cause I believe it will be given to me, when really, i've been sidetracked and all these things become more important than seeking God.

so.

Jeremiah 29:13
-YOU WILL SEEK ME AND FIND ME WHEN YOU SEEK ME WITH ALL YOUR HEART.


stupid A levels don't mean shit up in heaven, its only been made important by the imagination and arrogance of men. in these trying times, lets pray that we don't lose sight of what's truly important in our lives, amen?


that being said, study hard anyway friends. won't be long now.


hehe this morning, was donwstairs having a drink with a friend of mine, danielle, who is in the middle of her GCSE's, and daniel messages me with a Philippians 4:13, cause i was upset bout yesterday's paper. so encouraging. thanks brudder.

so yeh. signing off now, see you all soon. buh bye.

it's 11.50

and i just woke up, ignore whatever it says wherever it says i posted at <----> because i can't be bothered to change the time zone thingy right now cause i just noticed those time things were wrong, but whatever, the point is i just woke up and am posting here because i got a tummyache and it kinda hurts but maybe i'm just hungry so i'll ignore it for now though it's kinda hard to ignore when your blog is called fueledbymaggi and you know there's tons of maggi in the kitchen but you're just too tired to go get a packet of the damned stuff and open it and get a pot of water boiling and then pour in the seasoning and then drop the squiggly stuff into the pot of seasoned water that is supposedly soup and then wait for the damned stuff to cook and then lifting it into your mouth with chopsticks and describing your entire morning in one grammtically incorrect sentence.*INHALE*

what i meant was, i'm too lazy to do anything except twitch my fingers a little bit.

~ This is called a tilde.

~

yep that's right.


i need a shower. just had a shower.
shit. paper 3 and 7. will take a miracle.

good thing i believe in those.



sometimes perfection can be, it can be perfect hell... perfect..."


RAAAAWWWWRRRRRR. THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!1!!one!!!11!!!!!eleven

1337ness.

10 more days and i'll gg school. GG. GG. GG.

cause every inch of me you see is bruised.

The Joker and the Thief

In all honesty.

I'm lonely.

sorry bah nad, i had exam.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. do you know what a d-orbital looks like you asshole? me neither you stupid white faggy cambridge professor creature thing. but i do now... do you wanna know what it looks like? do you?



OMFGWTFBBQPWN. i swear. i would never even have guessed. shit.

nevermind.

sigh.

let go and let God. just pray that He'll send an angel over to smack the examiners on the head. >.<



okayy. so. here's a little sump'n sump'n...


HOW TO DRINK ICE TEA:

Scenario A: Ice Tea is in front of you, there is a straw in it.
1. Place straw between lips.
2. Ensure there are no gaps between your lips and the straw, whereby the region within your mouth and the straw is airtight.
3. Suck gently. Tea should begin to flow into your mouth after 0.8 seconds.
4. Using your throat muscles, gently squeeze the tea down your throat. This is known as swallowing.
5. Now pause. Stop sucking and remove your lips from the straw. Take a breath.
6. Repeat. When you are more experienced, you can perform step 3 and 4 longer before taking a breath.

CAUTION: Begginers should attempt this around more experienced Ice Tea drinkers, beware of choking. Choking occurs when Tea flows down your windpipe instead of your oesophagus.


Scenario B: Ice Tea is front of you, no straw.
1. Place edge of cup/glass of Ice Tea between lips, placing upper lip on the inside of the cup/glass and lower lip on the outside. Doing otherwise can result in a messy you.
2. Tilt cup/glass slowly with the bottom turning in an upwards direction. Again, doing this too quickly can result in a messy you. With more experience, you will discover the optimal degree to tilt your beverage at different volumes.
3. Tea should begin to flow into your mouth after 0.6 seconds. Stop tilting cup/glass when this happens.
4. Using your throat muscles, gently squeeze the tea down your throat. This is known as swallowing.
5. Now pause. Remove glass from mouth, reverting it back to its orginal state (perpendicular to flat surface, ie. table, counter etc.)
6. Repeat steps 3 and 4 when ready.

Scenario C: There is no Ice Tea nearby.
1. Find a cup/glass of Ice Tea, a straw is optional.
2. Follow guide from scenario A or B depending on whether you have the optional straw or not.


Did you find this guide helpful? If so, click here.