I'm done being frustrated

So here goes.



This is me

+ my baggage
+ my set of problems.



Do I lose stuff or build bigger muscles?

Lorne

Oh man, just spent a weekend in Lorne. The drive up was amazing, I guess I never took the great ocean road seriously til now, it really was prettier than I thought. We stopped by a couple of vineyards along the way, and did some tasting at Oakdene over lunch. I'm clueless about wine, but the food was good! So yeah, country Victoria's got pretty amazing scenery. Then we got to Lorne, and oh yeah, Julian came along too, with me, mum and my bro. Ok, its still pretty early right now I'm a little groggy, not even sure why I'm up.

Yeah we went up on Saturday. That night in Lorne we watched like 3 or 4 hours of old music videos from the 70s, 80s and 90s, maybe a couple of early 00's. Oh man, it was hilarious. MC Hammer, C+C Music Factory, the Macarena, it was all there.

And then the next morning we went to the beach and dug a hole. Wasn't as big as the one in Frankston, but it resembled a well. Oh well. Then we had really quick lunch and rove back home. Yeah I missed out some stuff but I'm really sore from all the digging and I feel like going back to bed. So yeah, bye.

Am I Just a Guitarist?

I guess I have an identity crisis. Am I a son? A brother? A friend? A student? A teacher? A guitarist? A photographer? An optimist? A realist? A sceptic? A critic? A loser? A lover?

It all feels very fragmented, sometimes contrary and well, I don't feel whole. It seems none of it is really integrated, I have no integrity. I'm a broken fractured human being. But at least I am still human. If anything, no, if everything were stripped away, at least I still have the right to be called human, because the same Spirit that defined humanity by being breathed into it is still here.

And maybe that's where clarity will begin for me this time.

Teach me how to be a human being. To be fully human. To be whole.

And so summer approaches, with a hint of freshness and insight.



Clarity. I can't wait.

exams are over

so why do i feel so meh.

Pharmacology Exam Tomorrow

Was just revising a bit of brain anatomy and physiology for pharmalogical activity in the CNS. I think this video is boomz.



I'm not wasting (too much) time, I swear!

Movember

I think number 8 might be my favourite.

That and the free Grilld bugers. AWESOME.

Clarity

Focus. It shifts in and out, slipping between foreground and background. Where something was once clear, only a blurred artefact remains, while all the distractions surround it become screamingly clear. But I think today, I heard a click, an opportune moment to open the shutters, if only to capture just a few milliseconds of exposure. I know at times clarity will escape me once again, so if anything, let this be a point of reference for those times.

Suzanne prayed for me after today's programme, and I caught a glimpse of a big picture. A bigger picture than what I'd been contending with of late, it helped me make sense of the minute things that tugged and pulled at me. In a nutshell, she said I had a warrior spirit. It sounds a little spooky dooky out there-ish, but I think I understand. I understand now why I keep getting frustrated with the things around me, the things in me. I understand why I'm constantly skirmishing with every thought I think, every action my hands find to do. I understand why I constantly need to question and wrestle.

Thank God for Suzanne, and for His word of encouragement, because I'd come very close to raising the white flag. No, I'm not tired anymore. Paul's thing, in most all his writings, was the mystery of God's will revealed to Him in Christ, that is the intention of installing humanity into the status of sonship. Everyone experiences different pathways for the fulfilment as their adoptions and sons and daughters of God. I guess this is my journey.

This is my set of problems.

This is my blessing.